Do it alone and go down in flames. That’s the honorable way to do it.
Lone-Ranger your way through life and you’ll be a serious badass, right? What’s interesting though is that as we evolve we’re more apt to see the problems with this mindset and film makers are in on it. We’re seeing more and more movies that are bringing the heroes together to fight the darkness. Power in numbers.
Our culture is starting to understands that real heroes don’t isolate themselves. They actually know how to ask for help. Navy SEAL stories are replacing Long Ranger stories because camaraderie, synergy, and brotherhood is the new badassery.
Even the most recent Avenger movie synopsis reads “As the Avengers and their allies have continued to protect the world from threats too large for any one hero to handle…”
Fathering has yet to catch up with this shift. Most dads prefer to hold their cards close, but who can blame us when work and family is already a 24-7 thing.
When I became a father 14 years ago I thought I could just show up and figure it out as I went along, with zero guidance or support from anything resembling a tribe or brotherhood. Looking back, it would have been helpful to have joined a group of “growth mindset” oriented dads to support me on my journey.
About a year ago I eventually started meeting friends for coffee, which eventually turned into me realizing that I needed more regularity and structure in this area and a men’s group is what I ultimately desired. I joined a local group and then an online group call The Dads Edge Alliance. Just last weekend I attended an extremely powerful summit that they put on.
I’ve found that the more you walk a path of personal growth, with the help of a like-minded men, the more you will find a greater sense of strength and grace to be present in your purpose, in your relationships, and perhaps most importantly, your children.
Just this month I started a local dads group called Father Up to combat this isolation issue. One participant wrote, “I really enjoyed the meeting last night. Good conversation and good support already…I look forward to the rest of these throughout the summer.”
If you’re soon to be a father or have been one for a while, there’s no need to “go alone” on this journey.